To Be Honest…
I’ve been feeling pretty down lately.
I’m not quite sure what’s been wrong with me but I’ve felt extremely “blah” the past week or two. I feel like I’m in a rut after the incredible high from Rwanda is slowly wearing off {which is depressing in itself} but it’s left me feeling uninspired and a little sad. I’ve found myself extremely emotional at times, which isn’t out of the norm for me completely as I’m an emotional person, but I’ve noticed myself crying at different things like trying to pick out new knobs for my dresser while standing in Home Depot.
Crazy, right?
Maybe it’s exhaustion settling in since we haven’t stopped since setting foot back in the good ‘ole USA or maybe it’s the Devil trying to work his way into my life. But whatever it is, I don’t like it. I don’t like feeling sad and mopey and I don’t like not being able to explain it.
Poor Cory has asked me over and over if I’m mad at him or upset but I’m not. And the only words I can think to explain it are down and blah.
Real helpful, right?
And sometimes this blog doesn’t help. I know it’s not about the page views but it’s hard to not get preoccupied with the statistics. My first two weeks back from Rwanda, I saw some of the highest numbers ever and the past two weeks have been back to normal. As someone who’s heart has been forever changed by Africa, it’s frustrating when my post about a pumpkin gets twice as many views as my Rwanda recaps. And I get it, 759 pictures of adorable children isn’t as exciting to everyone else as it is to me. But it’s normal to feel discouraged now and then, isn’t it?
Please don’t think I’m writing this for your sympathy or a pity party. Just as this blog can be discouraging, it’s also my outlet. Writing it down helps me get it all out.
So I could make up some excuse of being too busy to post this week but truth be told, I just haven’t felt up to posting. My life is far from perfect and it’s not all about fall decorations, DIYs and Rwanda. Real life is I struggle too.
11 Comments
Rachel G
Everyone has seasons of feeling ‘blah’–sometimes for worthy reasons, sometimes for no reason at all. Hopefully you get your spark back soon!
Mia @ MakeMeUpMia
Sorry to hear you’re in a rut, it’s natural girl especially after all that you’ve had going on lately. Get some rest, focus on you a little and what’s important to do. Just hit refresh, it helps <3
Biana @Blovedboston
I can totally understand the high you felt coming back from rawanda…and as much as i want to equate it to the high you feel after your wedding and honeymoon, that’s the only thing i can compare it too…I think this holiday season will bring you the peace you’ve been looking for! xo
Rebecca Jo
Don’t look at stats… just blog for you :) I have to remind myself that all the time.
I think what you’re going through is normal – I have so many friends that go on mission trips & they go through this same lull … the sadness of ‘real life’… hang in there!!!
Katie Elizabeth
I’ve been in the ‘blahs’ before and while it’s not fun, just try to remember this is a season and it WILL pass! Just surround yourself with things that make you happy and don’t be too hard on yourself. And don’t even bother with blogging stats, those things are annoying :)
Katelyn @ Real Housewife of Greenville
I know the exact feeling you’re talking about. I hope you are able to get some rest and get back to feeling normal very soon. Praying for you, pretty lady!
Julie Joy
So sorry to hear your feeling blah and down. I know the feeling because I go through those exact spurts sometimes as well. We’re all human and your right, life isn’t perfect! Sending prayers and hugs to you!
Lisa Loves John
Hugs to you, Paige… Transitioning home after such a lIfe Changing experIence is tough – no one will really understand how youve changed exCept you and Those that were with you. Immerse yourself in God’s Word, and try not to let thinga like page views bother you… You are So amazing, my dear!!
Lisa Loves John
Ok, seriously, my coMments always get SO meSsed up on your blog!! I sWear, i Really do Know How To spell and capItalize words correCtly…
Lisa Loves John
RealLy though… What in the world??!
Maggie@ Polka Dots in the Country
Hey girl, I’m sorry you’ve been feeling down lately. I’ve never experienced what you have with going to Rwanda but I can assume it’s quite an amazing one and it must be hard adjusting to “real life” again.
As far as all the stats and page views go, it can be really hard to not let that affect you. I personally look forward to all your posts no matter the subject and even though I’ve never met you in person you seem pretty awesome.:)
I’m a little late commenting so I hope you’re starting to feel a little better, hope you have a great rest of the week!